Tuesday, April 29, 2008

More Christmas Island - I Don't Care Demo

I think this is my jam cut. This is I Don't Care by Christmas Island. Supposedly it's a demo version, but I'd take this type of recording over most. I think this is further proof of what I said on an earlier post...these Xmas Isle fools can write a song.

Listen to the gosh dang song below on the cute lil' player.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Garfield Minus Garfield

Thanks to my good friend Nate who turned me onto this. It's hilarious! Garfield Minus Garfield. Look how crazy Jon looks when you remove Garfield from all the frames. Well this site did it for you. An example below and a link to all of them even further below. Man, some of these were a riot.

Garfield Minus Garfield

Christmas Island

Oh guess what. My lovable city of San Diego is offering a new gift. It's called Christmas Island, and they're fantastic. A new garage rock two piece poised to turn heads all over the god damned place. And they have a ton of releases already in the works, including a full length LP on In The Red. Their songs are jam packed with perfect melodies and recorded perfectly raw. I use the word perfect a lot, but fuck it. It's perfect. So just a head's up. You'll be hearing a lot from these lovable fools from lovable San Diego.

Link yourself here:


Sunday, April 27, 2008


If God does exist, I pray he's similar to James Hetfield circa 88. But I'd take a Kirk Hammet too, f it. And don't give me no shit cuz it's not the fastest or most burly or that you know of a more obscure fucking band. Cuz I don't want to hear it. Leave me alone with my melodies.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Re-Format The Planet

This movie looks really cool. It debuted at sxsw but I can't find any info on it at all. No release date or nothing. So who knows. I hope it's released properly and in theaters. A whole new electronic genre that doesn't suck. Huh. Who'd a thought. Kills all that crap that people are going to clubs in masses for. But let's not get negative I guess. (It's hard though, for sure.) Enjoy!

Slayer - War Ensemble 1990

I really don't think it gets any better. From the early records, to this record and even further. Even though that covers record was kind of a turkey, Slayer's got a nice lil' thing going. This is not their best but it's sentimental to me because saw it's "world premiere" on Headbanger's Ball. And it shreds.


Fuck shit damn fuck. Last night was such a ridiculous experience. I saw Spritualized play in San Diego. Acoustic. 4 strings, 3 gals, and a couple of god damned gentleman. It was beautiful. Like shockingly beautiful and perfect. I usually can't watch a show for more than 35 minutes, but this one had me completely engaged for all 90 plus. When they played "Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space", I literally got chills. And when I stood outside for a cigarette, I actually felt high (I wasn't).

I wish there was video to document it. I just can't find the right words for it. I'm not a big reviewer type cat.

Now that all the respect was offered to our dear Jason Pierce, let's talk about the tools. Douche bags like Spritualized? I was really surprised. Who the fuck yells and grunts after a beautifully quiet and delicate love song? This guy standing in front of me was like all arms stretched out and screaming like he was at a System Of A Down gig. Fucking guy. Oh, and when he wasn't doing that he was man handling his girlfriends butt cheek. You know what I mean? Like the "this is my property" type butt squish? Knead the butt like dough so all the suitors go away. Ok how about the pecker that yelled out "Jeepster!". Uhhh, news flash fuck face that's not Marc Bolan and this is not T.Rex. The man who sang Jeepster is dead, buried and gone. Fuckface.

But I'm thankful for these memories actually because a car ride has never been filled with more laughter than the one leaving that show.

A San Francisco Treat

Some of the best underground bands in the west will convene on May 15 in San Francisco. This the second 415 edition of Skull Kontrol at our beloved Knockout. Knockout is the best, man. Anyway, this night is eclectic as fuck. The girl group sounds of The Carrots, the freak folk wonderfulness of Fantastic Magic and the well guarded new sounds of Crocodiles. And as if that ain't enough, the ridiculously eclectic record selection by Brandon Welchez, Charles Rowell and yours truly. Er, Mario Orduno. Punk, rap, post punk, 60s, indie, rap, soul, oldies and tons more of that goofiness. Look out.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Bored to Death

Everyone here knows GG Allins music was good once, right? Unfortunately, he's most famous for sticking hotdogs in his butt and going caca on stage, but there was a time when he produced good music. His later, more infamous years are marked with nearly unlistenable aural garbage. Show me a man who says "Suck My Ass, It Smells" is worth anything more than a giggle at the lyrics and I'll show you a liar. It seems like somehow he made peace with his youthful insecurities in his older age by becoming a self-mocking, walking, shitting, vomiting freakshow. It's sad, cuz his early shit rips like Teenage Head or something off Yes LA. He should have just stuck to the melodic, snotty Jabbers stuff. He'd probably be alive now and have his own show on VH1.

Monday, April 21, 2008

The Aluminum Fowl

I don't know how I missed this short from 2006. James Clauer, who worked on Gummo, directed this 13 minute movie, and it's produced by Harmony Korine's O'Salvation production company. It's a documentary of four brothers in the South and the way they keep themselves busy in a state of poverty. Starting fires, fighting chickens, aliens and rap music. I warn you, though, the brutal animal cruelty is realistic and sickening. It's repulsive and unecessary. The dialogue on the other hand is brilliant. Remember these aren't actors.

The Aluminum Fowl by James Clauer

Sunday, April 20, 2008

New Jam Alert / R.Kelly And Mariah

F'n Kells. He really knows how to see a woman, generate an arousal, make love to said woman and translate it right smack dab into a song. In this case he's offering his magic to our ol' friend Mariah. She's not to cool, now, we know this. But remember when Ol' Dirty made her Fantasy song cool? Well, then give ol' Kells a chance. You won't be disappointed and maybe even you'll generate an arousal.

"It's the remix killer, and I think she wants me to fill her."


New band crap here. Crocodiles' debut is nearing folks. Who? Oh. Crocodiles Charles Rowell and Brandon Welchez formally of The Plot To Blow Up The Eiffel Tower and The Prayers. A two piece. Their debut will be in San Francisco at The Knockout with Austin's The Carrots and their buddies Fantastic Magic of San Diego. Also scheduled is a Sunday May 25 show with Oxford's Foals (Sub Pop) @ Brick by Brick in San Diego and June 15 with New Bloods @ The Casbah, also in San Diego. You can locate these men at HERE.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Mister Lonely Release Dates

Mister Lonely, the new film by Harmony Korine will be released in America on April 30. The soundtrack which was done by Spritualized and Sun City Girls will be released by Drag City on April 28. These are good things. Below you will find a funny clip from the movie and an interview snippet with Harmony Korine.

The Muslims Plan Live Record

If you were thinking of being in San Diego on May 12 you are in for a special lil' treat. There is a show I booked at The Casbah that I'm quite excited about. The Carrots from Austin are coming. They'll be playing with The Muslims and Fantastic Magic. There's enough excitement with that alone, right? Not so fast kemo sabe, there's more. The young and talented Muslims will be recording their set for a live album to be released on Art Fag. Live. Like James Brown's Live At The Apollo. Or The Smiths' Rank. Get it? Cuz it's gonna be good. There will not be presale for this show so plan on getting there early and be part of the magic.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Ah Fuck. I can't believe you've done this.

So after Skull Kontrol's big fuggin' bday bash last night, my friends Mark and Jenny came over. They're visiting from England and obviously couldn't miss the shenanigans down there at Bar Livewire, so I offered that they could stay the night. We got back to mine around 2:30. We sat around, horseshitting and listening to records, but of course after about 45 minutes or an hour, Dr. Dankenstein decided to pay us a visit. A visit from the good doctor in the wee hours of the morning will always lead to a focused, very serious Youtube session, especially around my house.

This is the best thing Mark and I found last night. Actually, it may be the best thing I've ever seen on Youtube (next to the "That's-my-quarterback-Terrell-Owens-crying" video Mario posted a few months ago). Please, do yourself a favor, and enjoy the video. You can thank me later.

A few quick points tho:
1) If at all possible, squeeze in a quick appointment with the Doc immediately before viewing.
2) Watch this video repeatedly, at least 20 or 30 times, starting it over again immediately after it ends. Doing this will enable you to be sucked in the the hypnotic trance-like flow of the action. You will also find new things to focus your laughter on each time. Note the boy's hair, the chain around his neck, the cocksure way he moves his head as he delivers his opening lines and expression on his face as he delivers his final lines. Watch it over and over.

I'm hoping this fucking bitch becomes one of these, como se dice, viral videos.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

NO AGE Eraser 7" And Free Downloads

Holy christmas the new NO AGE single was released last week on Sub Pop and I got my hands on mine yesterday. Lke last years releases, it rules. The A side, Eraser, is a shoegaze / punk gem. A builder with a great end. The B side has 3 covers. Nate Denver's "Don't Stand Still", The Nerve's "When You Find Out" and The Urinals' "Male Masturbation". Not a turkey in the bunch folks. (That Nerves song, by the way, in my opinion is The Nerves' best.) Oh! And you can sample and buy all these shits now on iTunes.

The 7" is a teaser for the lp, "Nouns" due May 8.

Also, in super fantastic concurring news, NO AGE have put up their cover of Bjork's "It's Oh So Quiet" and last year's "You Is My Hot Rabbit" up for FREE download on their Myspace profile. The latter has been available for free for a whiles, but I'm not sure how long the Bjork song will be available gratis. So do how you do.

NO AGE Myspace

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Feelies Are (a) Cool And (b) Reuniting

Learn about The Feelies. They are important, perfect and more. I like them, my friends. Their debut lp, Crazy Rhythms (1980) is a 5 star, 10 out of 10 masterpiece. Good luck finding it though, as the cds and records are LONG out of print and they have never been issued on iTunes or any of that crap. All your favorite adjectives apply here, too, guy. Post punk, indie, underground, blah blah blah, whatever. Four albums in ten years, 3 cool labels (Rough Trade, Stiff, Twin Tone) and one major label (A&M). Sadly, they never really got anywhere fame or saleswise. Oh well, they influenced all kinds of fools.

The long disbanded band is playing with Sonic Youth at Battery Park in New York on July Fourth, '08.

Here are a couple songs from Crazy Rhythms. Unfortunately I really think the album is meant to be heard in it's entirety. Good luck with that bossdog.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Maybe My Favorite Soul Song

I love The Marvelettes. I think they might be my favorite Motown girl group. The Supremes maybe got better songs, but The Marvelettes vocals were better. It's soul music exactly like I like it. Filled with energy and upbeat.

My favorite song is "All The love I've Got". The B side to their second single "Playboy". I think 1962 but whatever if I'm wrong. I just bought this 45 on ebay and I'm thrrrrrilled. I watched it for so long and I had to just bite the bullet eventually. Only listening to it on iTunes got old and very uncool. I hope to god and allah that it come before our big Skull Kontrol anniversary party on Thursday.

See if you agree. Listen to how perfect her scratchy voice is and how PERFECT the organ is when it comes in.

The Marvelettes "All the love I've Got"

Saturday, April 12, 2008

This Is A Dumb Ass Post

Just to show I'm a versatile ass cat, let's talk a lil' Bobby Vinton. The trailer for the new Harmony Korine movie, "Mr Lonely", reminded me of how good the Bobby Vinton song Mr. Lonely is. It's all sad and depressing. The guy just wants a boo and he's off in some foreign land fighting evil doers and freedom haters. He actually sounds on the verge of tears. The song is fucking good is what I'm tying to say here, folks. And then a couple years ago our dear dear friend Akon went ahead and did a version. Remember? He did that Kanye West technique of speeding up the chorus and using it as the main sample. Fuckin' Akon. But still, the melody is so good that I guess I kind of like it. I mean I ain't buying it, but I'm not turning the station either. I'll post both below so you can enjoy....or not. I might be alone on this one.

Bobby's original tearful one.

Akon's semi busted one (which is a guilty pleasure of yours truly).

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! That song is DUMB actually. Fuckin' Akon.

Don't Support Local Music

When I was a wee teen, there were these bumper stickers around town that said "SUPPORT LOCAL MUSIC". I thought it was a dumb sentiment then, and I do believe I feel that way now. To me, it seems that a "local" band remains local because the world doesn't care, the band is lazy, and the band just plain ol' sucks. I've seen extremely good bands in my city, some even legendary, but the ratio of good and bad is horribly skewed torward the crappy ones. I don't support shit, for one, but I most definitely do NOT support local music. I follow, listen to and enjoy GOOD music. I really wonder why anyone would feel that way about "support". Does anyone ever really listen to local music? Or how about these showcases I'm sure thay have in every city. I guarantee you that 90% of the bands on a bill like that suck. I think it's an angle. Somewhere there's a goofball that responds to that kind of marketing I guess. He/she probably sucks too. The reason I thought of this is that I spotted one of those stickers last night. What a dumb slogan.

Mister Lonely Trailer, Directed By Harmony Korine

Black Hebrew Isrealites

Once, when I was 7 or 8, I was visiting my aunt in New York. We were walking around the city, hitting up all the tourist spots, and when we were in Times Square we encountered 3 or 4 African-American gentlemen dressed up like Morgan Freemen in that Robin Hood movie from the '90's that starred Kevin Costner. These guys were hooting and hollering and waving around sabers. This was all pretty scary for a little kid! My aunt ( brown-skinned, from my Central-American dad's side ) thought it was pretty funny though, and we stopped to watch their tirade. What my little mind gathered, in a nutshell, was that they hate all white people. They even pointed at me and told me I was the devil! Jiminy Christmas! They kept calling my aunt "sister" and asking her all these questions about her background. When she told them she had Spanish European blood in her though, they quickly dropped all friendliness and called her the devil too.
Now bear in mind, I had already encountered plenty of zealots in my life and my ideas on religion (basically, it's for kooks) were already starting to harden; but these guys were a whole new stripe to me.
Anyways, I stumbled upon this video today and wished I had handled these cats with as much sarcasm as the gentleman behind the camera.

Friday, April 11, 2008

PRE (UK), The Muslims (SD) Play At Tower April 19 In San Diego

A Saturday night, god damn it. PRE stands for "penis retarded England". Not really, but that's what they said! Anyway, these noisy nuggets are on their way to San Diego to play with The Muslims at The Tower Bar. Fuck it. These three dudes and a gal are known for their crazy live shows. Homegirl gets all crazy and makes love to the floor and stuff. The Muslims? Not so crazy. These four chaps are the cream of the crop though. Pure songsmen. They're my dogsmen too.

PRE Myspace

So if you can afford the measly 5 dollar admission fee, come on over! Like I said earlier, fuck it.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Getting Things Done, Or At least Trying

Man, getting this tape thing done has proven more difficult then I expected. I've been making calls and writing emails all day and have not gotten much accomplished. This one turkey was going to charge me 300 bucks for 100 tapes...I was all. That means sell them for almost ten after distribution costs? These guys. Having to explain that Art Fag is the name of the record label isn't always a enjoyable experience either. This guy today on the phone was like, "Oh Art Shag, ok, S-H-A-G, cool.". And I said, "No, FAG, as in a cigarette in England?...a gay guy, maybe?, if you were being mean?". And he said, " Uh, yeah, ok. I'll just jot down Mario here and give you a call back.".

I think the best route would be to maybe buy a device that duplicates the things. That way I won't need to talk to nobody.

On a final note here, I listened to The Sess' "bonus track" for the cassette release. Oh man. It's serious magic.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Weird War

Here's some pretty choice footage of Weird War playing a middle school in Auckland, New Zealand. Note the audience confusion during the song followed by the polite applause afterwards.

Hitch-Hike By Kleenex Is My Jam Cut

Heyyyyyyy. Hitch-Hike is my favorite Kleenex song. My number ONE favorite. Is it not perfect? I could sit here and write my little heart out about them but I don't feel like it. I could write all that blah blah blah how they were on Rough Trade, or how they were from Switzerland, or how they were an all female DIY/ punk band or how Kill Rock Stars released their 2 x Cd anthology, or how they were forced to change their name to LiLiPUT, or how their influence is alive and strong, but why would I? I don't want to.

Listen To Kleenex's "Hitch-Hike"

Kleenex / LiLiPUT Myspace

LiLiPUT / Kleenex Wikipedia

Kleenex / LiLiPUT Allmusic Profile

Interview With Marlene Marder of Kleenex At Perfect Sound Forever

Youtube Montage Of Females In Post Punk To The Sound Of LiLiPUT's "Eiseger Wind"

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Cassette Culture

'Ello again. I just thought I'd add the following. If you want to order a New Bloods "Secret Life" cassette go to Hotsauce Tapes & Records. They'll sort you out for I think 6 bucks. K.

Monday, April 7, 2008

New Bloods Release Amazing Album On Kill Rock Stars

This is my new shit. Cassia, Osa and Adee from Portland. New Bloods. Their record comes out on Kill Rock Stars tomorrow, on April 8. I got my lp today. 24 minutes of post punk DIY magic. No guitar. Bass, drums, violin and female harmonies. New Bloods fit right into the history of Kill Rock Stars, but sound fresh and new. It's punk, it's dubby, it's soulful, it's Raincoats-y, and it's altogether something special.

The record, The Secret Life, is available tomorrow. CD and extremely limited (get it now!!) vinyl on Kill Rock Stars. In fact the record is already out of print, if you see it, get it. Coming soon on cassette, although a different label will put it out..

You can link your own damn self to their Myspace here:


Tour dates:

April 2008
11 -- Olympia, WA @ house party -- Oly record release show w/ Old Haunts
18 -- Portland, OR @ Work/Sound -- PDX record release show w/ Old Haunts, Magic Johnson, Purple Rhinestone Eagle, Hornet Leg
21 -- Seattle, WA @ house show -- w/ Flexions, Telepathic Liberation Army
23 -- Salt Lake City, UT @ 227 West Paxton Ave -- w/ Rope or Bullets
26 -- Kansas City, MO @ Charles Mansion
27 -- St Louis, MO @ Lemp Neighborhood Arts Center -- all ages
28 -- Bloomington, IN @ Rachel's Cafe -- w/ Quadrillion Babes
29 -- Bloomington, IN @ UFO Factory -- all ages

May 2008
03 -- New York, NY @ Cake Shop
04 -- Providence, RI @ AS220
07 -- Leeds @ The Packhorse -- w/ Chronicity
08 -- Newcastle @ The Dog and Parrot -- w/ Chronicity
09 -- Bristol @ The Junction -- w/ Wet Dog, Headfall
10 -- London @ The Underworld -- Ladyfest London
11 -- Cork @ The Whiskey
12 -- Belfast @ Pavilion Bar
16 -- Madrid @ Ladyfest Madrid
17 -- Barcelona @ Heliogabel -- w/ Hello Cuca
21 -- Berlin @ Schwarzer Kanal
23 -- Amsterdam @ De Nieuwe Anita
24 -- London @ Barden's Boudoir

June 2008
03 -- Athens, GA @ The Hanger
04 -- Gainesville, FL @ The Kickstand

Friday, April 4, 2008

Art Fag Recordings Update

Hey man, how do you do? You want to know what I got goin' on? Ok.

Been kinda quiet at ye olde Art Fag HQ. Ah, don't trip. Things are warming up. There are a few new projects coming up. The Muslims double A side 7" is coming out VERY soon. Like maybe a month or two. I mean, I'll have it in a month. But you'll have it in two. Get it? Anyway, it's a double A side cuz there's not a B side turkey on there. Both songs , Brightside and Night Life are destined to sell a cool hundred or so. We aim big. Believe me, they're jams. Also on the horizon is a cassette by the Sess containing their entire lp (released on Single Screen) and a bonus cut. Cut or track? I like cut. All the genius of The Sess packed into a cute lil' tape. Go get your Walkman!! Those are the two I'm preparing now, but look forward to a split 12" by Fantastic Magic from San Diego and Ye Olde Maids (Wes Eisold) from Philadelphia. Perfectly weird. Probably summertime. Also and last on the list is a surprise new band to rise this summer. Very special. Start wondering. I'll chronicle it and get it to the people. Cuz it's what I do.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Classic Joint

I can't stress how into LA rap circa 88/89 I am right now. If I looked nice in a ballcap I'd probably don one of those nice LA Raiders ones. Or LA Kings. Ice-T, N.W.A, D.O.C., AMG, DJ Quik. Shit. I wanted to post the video for Ice's "Colors" video because it's my favorite song of his, but the video sucks and he gets all anti gang in it. Like stuff that's not on the record. I hate that anti gang stuff. Anyway I decided on "You Played Yourself. 1989. Fuuuuck. It's so good.

Ice-T "You Played Yourself"

Another One Of These Bananas Type Deals Again

Hey hey hey. What's up? Tonight is the world wide unknown thing called Skull Kontrol. At Live Wire. It's where everything goes bananas and your big ol' dead boring ears come to life and start getting tingly.

Live Wire / San Diego / 21+ / FREEEEEEEEEE / xoxoxoxo

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Thin Man, The Muslims Live TONIGHT In San Diego

So Dan Wise of Kill Me Tomorrow has a new band, Thin Man. We've discussed this. They rule. You can read the blog thing from a month or so ago. The Muslims. They rule too...obviously. They play together tonight at The Tower Bar in San Diego. Thin Man will have a gang of new songs you never heard and will love. The Muslims will have a record with songs you love but haven't heard. The Tower Bar will have drinks you've had at an embarassing rate, but yet you'll shame yourself again. The thing is 5 dollars. 500 hundred pennies. Get yourself together and stuff.